Meeting Jan…
It is January 19, 1973 and I am sitting in the baggage area of Eastern Airlines (which no longer exists) at the Philadelphia Airport contemplating my future while waiting for the car service to take me out to Moorestown. It is 5:00 PM on a dark, chilly Friday evening and I am returning home after 6 months living with friends in Ft Lauderdale following college graduation. I took my union laborers card and worked pouring concrete on a high rise in Hollywood across the street from the Diplomat Hotel. I had been home at Christmas and promised my folks I would be coming home to look for a “real” job and start the process of being a grown up. My dad referenced my decision in a family Christmas letter a month earlier in this way:
“Art calls from Florida (reverse charges, of course). Will be home a week from today. Talks to mom-tells her he misses the family. She cries. “By the way is it OK if a make a long distance call and charge it to your number?”. Can you imagine her saying no after that con job. Art further advises that in the foreseeable future he will start to check into his life’s work. This, in my opinion, is progressive thinking on his part and causes mom and I to relax some more”.
So, as I sit waiting to board the car to Moorestown I know things are about to change as my brief extension of the college life was over and a career was soon to begin. But I had no idea the dramatic turn my life will take in the next 36 hours.
Then it happened. I glanced up from reading my Time magazine and spotted her. She was cute, petite, had dark hair and a great smile. As the Italians say, I was hit by the thunderbolt. I am no longer reading my magazine, just trying to check her out further without being to obvious. Finally, the guy from the car service starts reading off the names of the passengers for the ride to Jersey which will make four stops starting in Moorestown and ending in Trenton. I’m listening carefully to the names as I’m hopeful she will stand and head to the car. After several others are called he says a long name with a “ski” at the end. She gets up. I can’t explain it but I immediately deduce she is Polish, Catholic and from a working family. Now I’m getting anxious. Two names later “Mahony”. I’m up and moving quickly without looking like I’m running. Timing works as I reach the exit at the same time as the mystery girl. There is only one car in sight (picture a station wagon with four rows of seating) and she turns and looks at me with a smile and says “Is this ours?”. Oh boy…something could be happening here! I shrug politely and say it’s the only one so it must be. She smiles and heads to the back of the car to deposit her luggage. Somehow a couple Army guys headed to Ft Dix get ahead of me. She ends up directly behind the driver with other people filling the row to her right. Damn! The only seats left are next to the driver so I take it. I turn and ask her “Why didn’t you save me a seat?”. She laughs in a good way so I keep it up. “Where are you headed?” “Trenton,” she says. We start chatting and find out she was vacationing in Ft. Lauderdale and has the GREs (SATs for grad students) in Princeton in the morning so she’s heading to her parents house in Trenton. She lives in Morristown which is good because I’m probably going to head back to North Jersey to find work. The driver gets in and we get ready to go. I’m thinking I have to make my move so I pop the question, “My parents are picking me up in Moorestown so why don’t you get off with me and come over for something to eat and then I’ll take you home?” I’m cool on the outside but I’m thinking I can’t believe I asked this stranger to come home with me! She says, “You don’t have to go out of your way like that”. I come back with something to the effect that people have to go out of their way for each other. I’m sensing several service guys in the back seat rolling their eyes at that one but I think she’s buying it so I have to hold steady. She smiles and says, “We’ll see”.
For the next 40 minutes I’m chatting up the driver and the guy next to me and trying to be cool and charming and hope this mystery girl is noticing. Finally, we pull into the hotel parking lot which is the drop off point in Moorestown. I turn to see what’s happening with her. She’s ASLEEP! Oh boy. What do I do? If I get out and go it’s over-don’t know her name or any contact info. So, I tap her gently on her leg, she wakes up and I say “we’re here”. She hesitates and then says “OK”.
We get our bags and head to the lobby of the hotel to use the rest rooms. I come out first and my dad is standing in the lobby with the familiar “let’s hurry it up” look. I tell him I met a girl and she’s coming home with us. He’s starts to ask how this happened and decides it doesn’t matter. “What’s her name?”. Uh oh. “I don’t know” I answer. He then shrugs and shakes his head slightly showing equal parts bewilderment and resignation (also a look I’ve seen many times before) and says he will wait for us in the car with mom. Jan comes out and I ask her her name. She says Janice but I hear Janet. We get in the car and I introduce her as Janet and she corrects me but thinks it’s funny that I could forget so quickly. Just to keep it going I keep calling her Janet and she seems to like me kidding with her.
The ride to the house is pleasant and my mom and Jan chat easily. We arrive home and head to the kitchen and my mom offers food but Jan only wants some tea. More discussion follows and then my dad makes his move. He stands and says to Jan “You seem like a very nice girl. Come with me, there’s something I have to show you”. Jan gets up and walks with my dad toward the hallway where our family pictures are displayed. My mom and I follow knowing he’s up to something but not sure what. “Janice, forget about Artie, this is the one for you” he says pointing to a picture on the wall. “This is Artie’s brother Todd. This is the one for you. He has a great job, a company car, and a nice apartment in Hightstown”. Jan laughs but is not exactly sure what’s happening. Then he says “And look at that nice haircut”. Now I get it. The picture is of Todd in 1965 with a “mans’ haircut”. In 1970 I came home from school with shoulder length hair and my dad couldn’t stand it. Looking back I absolutely get it but at the time I wasn’t backing down and it caused serious tension in our relationship. I worked for him for the next 3 summers and we hardly ever spoke. In ’71 I’d drive him to work with no dialogue and when we arrived at the yard he would hand me a note with directions on where to drive the truck that day. It was chilly between us to say the least. Things started to thaw the previous summer, mostly a result of my mom becoming tired of the tension between the two of us. Anyway, Jan says “I like Art’s haircut”. My father throws up his hands and shows mock disapproval and says “OK, then you stay with him”. Jan loved it. (Looking back I realized now that my dad was making a peace offering-he would have never joked about this issue a year or two earlier.)
Jan and my folks say their goodbyes and I drive her to her house in Trenton. We are getting close to her house so I figure I better secure the next step and ask her out for tomorrow night; she says yes…oh yeah. As we enter the house Jan introduces me to her dad, Walt (but I will call him Mr. Rafalowski for now), who is quietly celebrating his 60th birthday by watching the 76ers play. His wife Jay (Josephine) is out with her lady friends playing bingo. He seems to like me and we have no problem making conversation. Jan is by now hungry so she starts eating a hamburger her dad had prepared. After about 15 minutes I get up to go and as I reach the door Walt starts explaining the directions back to Medford for the 4th time which really only involves about 4 turns. I’m listening politely and as I glance over his shoulder I see Jan in the doorway of the kitchen smiling; silently and affectionately acknowledging her dad’s occasional lapse into redundancy. I like what I’m seeing and feeling. I say goodbye and head home.
Saturday is spent unpacking and washing clothes. I head up to Trenton about 5 PM. The plan is dinner by the Echelon Mall and then we will see Lady Sings The Blues with Billy Dee Williams and Diana Ross at the mall theater. During the day I had picked up a bouquet of flowers for Jan’s mom and presented them to her at the door. I have an Irish name (two of her sisters married Irish guys with mixed results) and long hair so I have two strikes against me. But the flowers went a long way and seem to put her at ease. We chat for a couple of minutes and then Jan reminds them that the plan includes her staying over night in my parents guest room. Walt seems fine with the idea. Jay not so much, but off we go. We get to the diner and I order a plain hamburger and a soda and eat very cautiously; I don’t want to take a chance on spaghetti or any other meal that might end up in my teeth or on my shirt. On the other hand, Jan orders a salad, on open face turkey sandwich with gravy, vegetables, and mashed potato’s and eats like it was her last meal; not the least bit concerned with anything but enjoying the meal. We make the movie just in time, enjoy it and then head back home around 11:00 PM. The night was almost over, but the rest is confidential. We have breakfast with my folks in the morning and I have her back home by mid-day. She agrees to see me in Morristown the next weekend and that was, as they say, all she wrote.
So, that’s how it went in the first day and half of our relationship. We met each other, met our parents, had dinner, saw a good movie, and found conversation and laughs came easily. We knew something was happening but didn’t know that we would be celebrating this weekend 40 years later. Not sure why I did it but a couple of days after we met I went to the basement and pulled out the luggage from my trip. The Eastern Airlines tags were still attached. I cut them off and put them in a box I kept for momentos. You can see them below. Sometimes, you just know.
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