Welcome to Our Family Website

This section will feature letters written to family by Ray with the able of assistance of Helen. Regardless of when or to whom these letters are written the content and themes are consistent: appreciation, support, humor, devotion to family, perspective and humility are always present. Enjoy.

The following letters were written to Denny and Adie over the years. The first is a letter to Denny thanking him for an article he sent on raking leaves back in the 70s. It references Denny’s status as the “fire Tender” which means he was responsible for making sure the rest of us did not burn the house down. Article is included.


One of the blessings of Helen and Ray’s retirement was David’s, their oldest grandchild, decision to relocate from Jersey to Southern California. He got his start sleeping on their couch and eventually started a great career, married a wonderful woman, and had three awesome kids. Dave can fix or set up anything and was a huge resource in support of his grandparents. Upon each visit they would exchange pleasantries and then Dave received a list of things he needed to fix. No doubt that Dave and Patty’s involvement in their lives significantly enhanced the quality of their retirement.


Here’s another about Dave helping them out.

And another!!

A note congratulating Denny on one of his many promotions.

This was written after they visited Danny’s farm in NY state. They loved to sit together at night and visualize all their children and grandchildren in their homes safe and sound. It provided them with great comfort in their later years.


This is an update to the family not long after Helen and Ray arrived in California to begin their retirement. They are anxious to move into the home park they would live in for the next 30 years. They would look for part time (full time work was out of the question!) work to make ends meet. Paper routes (mom wraps and dad throws) and delivering for meals on wheels would follow. As was the case throughout their marriage they did these things together and made them an adventure.


A thank you note to Jan and Art after a visit to Jersey. They especially appreciated Jan’s hospitality. Many of his letters finish with an expression of sadness at having to depart and not knowwing exactly when we would be together again. I know this feeling was mutual and shared by all of his children.

This letter will appear in other places on this site as it represents one of the fundamental values and objectives Helen and Ray had for their family. Ray’s sister Betty had passed away and this note was to her three daughters (know affectionately as the “Ciccone Girls”). I don’t believe it was particularly easy for my father to express his emotions in person but this letter made his feeling very clear. He expressed his love for his nieces and his wish that we all stay in touch.

In 1983 Jan experienced an asthma attack that required a 3 day hospital stay. My dad wrote a note to her to express his concern and to offer her support. Jan had kept her name after our wedding (much to the chagrin of even her dad)  and my dad never missed a chance to rib her about it. He opens the letter “to Mrs. Arthur L Mahony” and admitted that he is taking advantage of her weakened state to refer to her in this way. He also tells her that the name “Dr Janice Rafalowski” must sound pretty good to some folks in Trenton. He summarizes some thoughts on what could have led to the attack and naturally mentions that one reason could be the stress of living with me. He also never passed up a chance to give me a hard time as well. He closes by mentioning how scared he and my mom were when they heard the news and how much they love her.